Michelle Weirich

neutropenia (low white blood cells) on it's own does not present any symptoms.  What I had and was ultimately diagnosed with was neutropenic sepsis which is where you are neutropenic and have an infection. 

 

In my case, it became clear that there were two possible sources of infection; my teeth and/or an insect bite on my knee.

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Due to the fact that I was neutropenic, I had to stay in A&E until a bed became available in a side room; I would need to be isolated from other patients due to being at risk of infection.

 

Whilst in A&E, my symptoms worsened.  In addition to a fever and sore throat, my bottom jaw was suddenly in agony; I wanted to rip it off!  I knew it was my wisdom teeth causing the problem because I'd had to have antibiotics for a possible infection in one of them about a week before my chemotherapy.  My dentist had advised that my bottom wisdom teeth were both impacted and would need to be removed at some point but it was collectively decided to postpone this so as not to delay chemotherapy.  Boy, do I wish I had these removed beforehand!

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Having neutropenic sepsis was hell on earth.  It is like the worst flu you can ever imagine.  Getting up to go to the toilet was like climbing a mountain.  The worst thing was this immense sense of dread; I remember telling Matt that I thought I was going to die.  It was truly terrifying.

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I was in hospital for a total of four days and it was the worst time.  Having to use a commode was utterly depressing and just generally being on my own was hard.  I was allowed visitors but this was limited.  There was too much time to think.  I missed normal life so much; being at home with my family, the school run, work, a glass of wine and a plate of pasta... everything.  I literally craved being with the people I loved and just sharing good times together.  I was petrified I wouldn't get through the rest of my treatment and be able to live life again.  It's amazing what we take for granted when we are well.

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Recovery was tough.  Even though I hadn't been in hospital that long, I'd practically forgotten how to walk by the time I was discharged.  I felt like I was about 95 years old!  To make matters worse, my hair started falling out the day after I came home from hospital; even though I knew it was going to happen, it was the last thing I wanted to deal with however, rather than end up with hair everywhere, I got it shaved that day.

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I was on strong antibiotics for a week afterwards and they made me feel quite rotten.  It took a good couple of weeks to get my strength back and then I had my wisdom teeth out.  Overall, it was not a fun time!

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It was then just a case of letting my gums heal so I could face the next cycle of chemotherapy.  I was due to have this on 26th September but this didn't happen due to the fact that I came down with a virus!  I was so fed up; I had no boobs, no hair, felt like crap and it seemed like I would never get to the end of my treatment.  

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Then I saw Linda Nolan's cancer story on Loose Women and it brought me huge comfort.  Everything she was saying I could identify with and it made me really emotional but in a relieved way; it was a relief to know that I wasn't the only one with these thoughts and fears.  I felt such huge empathy towards Linda and anyone suffering with cancer.  That's when I thought I would tell my own story and write a blog.  

 

So, if this brings just one person some comfort, is informative in some way or helps save someone through raising awareness then I will be happy.

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I am leaving my story here to start my blog but let me finish by saying to everyone suffering with cancer that you are not alone; together, we can support each other.

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Oh, and one final thing...

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