I'll warn you now, this is gonna be a fairly graphic post with words and mental images that some viewers may find offensive...
I think, no sooner had I hit 'publish' on my last blog post, it all started to go a bit tits up... (er, yeah-I'm-still-using-that-expression ... said that in like an American high school girlie type accent, going up at the end... just to be clear). It's been a pretty rubbish last couple of days to be honest.
Flu like symptoms came on Friday night and got worse over the weekend. Had lots of aches and shooty pains all over but mainly in my lower back and down the back of my legs. So much so, I woke up yesterday morning at 6.30, came downstairs and had a big cry. Have had a few big cries. I took some hefty ibuprofen and had a hot bath. It helped a bit and the rest of the day wasn't so bad, the pain was manageable with more ibuprofen and I just sat on the couch like I'd done for the previous two days. Actually, I spent a LOT of the weekend in bed. My lovely mama came round on Sunday, did some of the housework and cooked us a roasty din dins. I mean, like... (again, with the American thing) LOVE HEART EYE EMOJI, we love you mum.
Also, had a bit of a sore mouth but nothing to speak of and a slightly sore throat (which I was worried about at first but no temperature so 's'all gooood' - again, American, but this time it's a bloke... if you've ever watched The Killing on Netflix then it's DC Holder). Had a funny tongue as well, it feels like when you've burnt your tongue, you know? Got a bit of a coating so it's almost like it's sort of numb and stuff tastes bland.
The other thing is...DUN-DUN-DUUUuun... diarrhoea! Which funnily enough started just after mum's roast on Sunday (thinking emoji with hand on chin..) Aaaah I'm just shittin' witcha' mama (crying with laughter emoji) don't worry, this was chemo tummy not dodgy-dinner tummy. In fact, this is PRECISELY why I'm up at 4am writing a blog post... I did tell you it was going to be graphic.
Yes, it comes to something my friends, when you go to the toilet then realise you've shit on your own clothes...
What was I doing at 2.30am?? Oh thaaaat's right... I was showering shit off of my dressing gown belt that had fallen down the toilet when my arse decided to explode.
Amidst the stomach cramps and (now quite intense) back ache, this made me laugh and I felt the need to share. I mean, it's got to be an honest account, right?
I think I can safely (pah!) say at this point I've reached my worst nightmare scenario as far as being a chemo patient is concerned. Before I started, I was fretting about/resisting the idea of losing my hair etc... and looking really poorly (like a chemo patient) but now I'm here I literally could not give a flying f***. Just wanna get through this treatment and say to anyone reading this who is just about to start treatment or at the beginning, please don't worry. The nightmare isn't as terrifying as you think. Cos once you are living it, you can deal with it and you will get on with it and get through it... because you have to.
In fact, some of my most ground breaking thoughts have been had when I'm up, early, feeling like crap... Only this morning, I realised why diarrhoea is called diarrhoea...
Die-your-rear... get it? Cos your arse literally dies!!
Welllll I'm sorry but THAT'S the type of stuff you come up with when your sat on the loo at three in the morning!
Anyway, gonna go people, not cos I have to poo or anything, just cos I'm gonna go.. my choice and not that of my arse's!
Laters x
Pic of me lookin like a chemo patient #notscaredanymore
PS actually did have to go for a poo in end
Byeeeee! :D